Looking back on this year, the biggest harvest was establishing a firm perspective on life and somewhat solid thoughts on how to live. Many different things happened this year, but rather than reflecting on each line thinking “that’s how it was back then,” I think writing about the perspective I’ve established might be a better retrospective.

What do you think life is? I think of life as ‘a collection of complex questions given randomly.’ From choosing what beer to pick at a convenience store to who I am and how I should live. The range of questions life throws is very wide and the fields are diverse.

However, the difficulty of life doesn’t come from the field of problems but from the nature of problems. Almost all questions life throws have time limits. Questions like which company to work at or who to spend the end of the year with would have no meaning if answered next month. Life puts time limits on almost everything, yet doesn’t put a time limit on the truly important questions. And then it stays quiet. As if something will go wrong if you don’t answer soon.

But the most difficult thing is that whether the answer I submitted is correct is only determined after the nails are hammered into my coffin. And that point is unknown. It could be tomorrow, or it could be after this post goes up.

My head is throbbing. To answer well the questions life keeps throwing, unlike how we normally make decisions, we must actively involve death, which may come at any time, in the decision process. Considering this, the best choice ultimately becomes doing what you want to do. However, concluding this way makes it easy to fall into YOLO and the nihilism behind YOLO.

People who deeply accept the proposition “Death comes randomly” seem to show two major patterns. Let me give an example. A, who fell into nihilism and took no action, and B, who started pioneering their own future. What’s the difference between these two?

Both would have arrived at the fact that life is like a blank canvas. But A paid more attention to the material properties of the canvas. The properties of tearing easily, getting wet, and being damaged. And choosing to just leave it as is because this paper shouldn’t tear. Conversely, B focused on the fact that they can draw pictures on a white canvas. In other words, they looked at life with a more proactive attitude.

Let’s go back. You must do what you want to do. However, rejecting nihilism and based on proactivity and deep self-understanding, you must do what you want to accomplish when looking further ahead.

Hospice volunteers answer that what old people regret most before dying is not “not achieving” but “not trying.” Then, even if I die tomorrow, if I die doing what I want to do, wouldn’t that regret be reduced? Now I deeply understand what Steve Jobs meant by “Do what you wouldn’t regret even if you died tomorrow.”

The new year is coming. It’s a bit scary because it’s the first time starting a year with nothing planned at all, but I’m hoping to do enjoyable things next year.

Happy New Year. Fortune alone isn’t enough, so let’s work hard.